After a conversation recently with a Bride (not a conversation I can say I've had once either) something just flicked a switch in my brain and I had to quickly get typing this very post. This conversation I have more often than not with Brides, and others in this industry, is about the pressure a Bride can be under to get 'that feeling' when searching for her wedding dress. You know which feeling I'm talking about - the one where you just know the dress is yours and nothing else will ever top it! Butterflies in the belly, Bride tribe all in tears and the moment where you say 'yes to the dress!' but does everyone get THAT feeling?
Now I'm not writing this to put a downer on the whole wedding dress shopping experience BUT within the four walls of a bridal boutique you see and hear so much. Most people would think my job is all sunshine and rainbows and (I quote) 'the best job in the world' but I can honestly speak on behalf of any bridal consultant or stylist when I say that we see Brides getting themselves so stressed at the thought of picking just one dress to wear on just one day that sometimes we take on the role of counsellor too! Well girls... Stop. Breathe. And don't put so much pressure on yourself for 'perfection'
So 'that feeling'... How long do you wait for it to happen? 10 dresses, 30 dresses, 80 dresses, 100? What happens if you try on your second dress and love it - you're feeling absolutely amazing, see yourself walking down the aisle, dancing the night away... But Mum hasn't cried. Does that mean it's not the one? How many times have you bought a new dress for a night out and your Mum has cried so much you knew you looked incredible? Probably never, right? So why would you base your decision on the most important dress you are probably ever going to wear on whether its 'the one' to your Mum or Bride Tribe crying? Sounds crazy when you actually think about it doesn't it.
Now these moments happen, I'm not saying they don't, and for everyone involved its an amazing moment but it is totally heartbreaking to see a Bride in a complete state of confusion and stress when she isn't getting the reaction she wants. So here are a few tips from Bridal consultant to Bride:
# 1 – Be selfish in every aspect of your wedding (try and include your better half too of course) but remember this day is about you and for you. You will never please everyone and this is a huge thing to remember when picking your dress.
# 2 – following on from # 1, your dress will never be to everyone's taste. That's what makes you you! But even if your Mum or Maid of Honour or Aunties friends sister wouldn't wear it it doesn't mean you don't still look amazing!
# 3 – If its all getting too overwhelming, go to a bridal appointment alone. Ok this can be a scary thing to do but speaking to a consultant about shapes and designs and just talking through options without all the opinions of those close to you can really make it clear in your mind what it is YOU actually want. Just always make sure you are going to a boutique you trust and one you can connect with so that you are getting honest and friendly advice (like Flamingo Boulevard!) and not a pushy sales pitch for any dress...
# 4 – Don't be put off if you like a dress that 'you wouldn't normally wear'. This can be so confusing - but when in everyday life would you find yourself nipping to the shop in a fully fitted, white, fishtail gown with 3ft train?! So try a little bit of everything if you can!
# 5 – Don't over do it! So I said above to try a little bit of everything but that doesn't mean visit 8 different bridal boutiques over one weekend! Then it will all become a big white blur and I promise you, by boutique number 8, you will hate every wedding dress you put on and you might just miss that one you have been looking for.
# 6 – If you love it, buy it! Sounds so simple but honestly it's the best piece of advice I can give. There are thousands of wedding dresses for you to try, you can attempt to try them all and keep thinking 'maybe I might find something better', but if something ticks every box and makes you just feel truly amazing why would you not want to walk down the aisle in it? Avoid all the stress of finding 'that feeling' which might not ever come and just enjoy it! Enjoy the feeling of standing in YOUR wedding dress and just looking amazing.
So if you are still reading I hope this helps in some way. Whether you are just starting you wedding dress journey or whether you are 100 dresses in, take your time, enjoy every second and don't be afraid to ask for help! Also one huge thing to remember is nobody is going to think you look bad on your wedding day. No matter what dress you are wearing, how you have your hair and make-up or even what size your dress is – every Bride will look absolutely amazing if they know they look amazing!